A Heart Full of Love

"A heart full of love, a heart full of song ..."

Yep it's a line from possibly one of my favorite musicals of all time, Les Miserables. It however accurately describes how I am feeling after a wonderful afternoon a couple of days ago. My heart has been captivated and I don't think I will ever be the same again.

Slow down and read what I am writing before you make too many conclusions about what this could possibly be talking about.

God is truly showing me some new things about myself that I either didn't know or had pushed back so far I didn't realize them. There is a deep, deep seeded mothering instinct in my heart. I know I love children and I would adopt everyone of the ones that I have seen, but I didn't realize how much of a mothering instinct it was until yesterday. My heart was nearly broken in half yesterday when I met a precious little guy named Mickey. He has the most infections smile I have ever seen. You can't help  but just grin when you look at him. And then someone puts him in your arms. He kind of burrows in close to you and you feel his body relax. While I was holding him, one of the ladies there told me that he has had rickets but is greatly improving. He is also slightly behind developmentally and isn't able to sit up on his own quite yet. I was also told that he would most likely never be adopted because he is HIV positive. My heart completely broke then. What did that precious little guy do to deserve that outcome? Why would the HIV status be the deal breaker? Shouldn't a child be given a fair shot at having a family? These questions and more marched through my mind as I struggled to comprehend what I was hearing. I had to fight back the tears at the injustice for such a precious little boy. I just don't understand how you could not fall in love with him immediately. Big brown eyes, a gummy smile that will just melt your heart, and a ready and loving spirit. Talk about the momma coming out in someone. I can't even explain how that happened but it sure did.

My heart has been captivated by a tiny little guy with big brown eyes and  a sweet gummy smile that reminds me all too much of little miss Susanna Jane. Hasn't Jesus commanded us to love the least of these? That which we do unto the least of these we have also done to Jesus. I haven't been the best at this, but thankfully eye opening experiences are all a part of being on a mission trip like this and from this point forward things have to be different. It isn't enough to throw money at a problem. It is time for action, and the action I know is required of me is to love on these precious children every chance I get.

From my heart to yours!
Melody